All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
