he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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