dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
