Dual....:-)
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
