"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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