That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
