Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
my being single is dangerous.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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