walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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