i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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