that's an acceptable place to lick
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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