Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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