I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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