So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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