I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
