HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's rum buckets o'clock
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
