New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
