Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
