I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
please come you make the beer taste better
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
