Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Let's paint friendship bongs
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
