is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize