I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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