I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
