I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
did you just send me my own nude
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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