I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
