he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
