I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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