so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't deserve a penis
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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