Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
