Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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