i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
