What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
