weddingsv make me drug and hornr
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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