yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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