I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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