i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
