Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
