I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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