Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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