Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
