So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
