rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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