Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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