As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
