people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
