before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize