walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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