no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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