he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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