just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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