Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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