You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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