Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My boob is missing a layer of skin
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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