i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My dick has a subreddit
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
