just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
