it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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