it wasn't lemon gatorade
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
