I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
