Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
