Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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