Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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