so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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