I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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