i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
